008 || video;

[majorcrotchgrab]

[The feed starts and viewers are greeted to the sight of Raikov attempting to put little booties on Katya's feet. She already clad in a tiny scarf. Dat Joltik has sum style.]

... I'd take the crazy weather over terrorist-like attacks any day. Things might be quiet for now but who knows how long that'll last? Was it like this in any of the previous years?

[Because he really hopes this isn't a repeating offense. This place was supposed to be war free... It just doesn't feel right. He'd never admit it out loud but that weapon Cobra showed last week has him worried. The last thing this world needs is a nuclear super weapon or something like it.

He lets out an exasperated sigh. Always the drama queen. Katya just chirps and tilts her head.]

I've been meaning to ask a few other things as well.

For the pokemon that evolve via stone, when do you know is the "right" moment to give them one? Is there ever one...?

How difficult are the routes to travel during the winter?

And lastly... Why the hell is everyone doing their holiday shopping so early? New Years isn't for another month and a half.

[Someone isn't aware of "Christmas" outside of the Motherland. Oops.]


[Private to Scar//Unhackable;]
Hey. Is Kashet doing any better? Natasha's mood has been improving since their play date. I think it really helped her. Perhaps we should get together for another. Do you like tea?

Comments

[lieutenantantichrist]

[What do you know, it's that loud-mouthed, gray-haired pervert. At least he's wearing a shirt this time.

What Blake should do is ignore the phone and go back to reading the paper before his little squirrel thing steals more of it to make a nest. But thee he is, picking it up and hitting the button.]

New Years shopping is easy. It goes, "Gimme a bottle of Jack and a party hat."

[majorcrotchgrab]

[oh hay bb. Now that he knows the difference between Christmas and New Years, he wrinkles his nose.]

Yeah, if you want to celebrate it like an asshole.

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Blake tilts his head.]

You don't have to have the hat.

[majorcrotchgrab]

You celebrate New Years like you do Christmas. Trees, fireworks, presents, lots of delicious food...

[lieutenantantichrist]

No you don't. You celebrate it by getting shitfaced and being surprised Dick Clark's still alive. Then you eat cocktail shrimp and watch drunk idiots try to kiss somebody without getting slapped.

It's tradition.

[majorcrotchgrab]

For you Americans it is.

[lieutenantantichrist]

Shit, you're telling me commies don't even do New Year's right? That's goddamn criminal.

[majorcrotchgrab]

We celebrate it better than you do.

[lieutenantantichrist]

Hell no you don't. What do you do, sit around peeling potatoes and waiting for the bears to get you?

[majorcrotchgrab]

I just told you what we do on New Years, idiot!

[lieutenantantichrist]

That's bullshit! You don't do Christmas shit on New Year's! Even fuckin' commies don't call it a New Year's Tree!

[majorcrotchgrab]

You do if you don't celebrate Christmas in your country.

And we just call it a tree.

[lieutenantantichrist]

[That takes Blake by surprise.]

Holy shit. The "godless commies" thing was true after all.

[majorcrotchgrab]

... Godless? How?

[lieutenantantichrist]

What you just said. [He gestures, as if that would help.] Not having Christmas.

[You are what Fox News warned about, Raikov.

But shit, now he almost feels bad for the guy.]

[majorcrotchgrab]

How does that make us Godless?

[lieutenantantichrist]

Cause Christmas is all that Jesus crap.

[He may not give a damn about religion, but godless is still an insult. If you want to call that contradictory, you can cram it.]

[majorcrotchgrab]

Some people would disagree with you. From what I've been told, it's somewhat lost its religious origins.

[lieutenantantichrist]

Yeah, there's always somebody bitching about that. But it's there. The Jesus freaks wouldn't let it go that easy. War on Christmas my ass.

[Blake crosses his arms and looks around.]

Hell. Here it's not so bad. You don't have to hear that argument anymore, and weird monsters and background music beat the hell out of hearing the Little Fuckin' Drummer Boy for the five hundredth time.

Who the hell are you shopping for around here, anyway?

[majorcrotchgrab]

Really, if it causes so much try, the holiday doesn't seem worth it. Also can't say I've had the pleasure of ever hearing that song.

[Raikov huffs. So rude, Blake. Assuming he has no friends.]

A couple of comrades. I might even get you something.

[lieutenantantichrist]

Same reason we still do a bunch of shit that's a pain in the ass. Tradition, probably.

You seriously never heard it? [Blake's face creases, and he says, with deep feeling] You lucky bastard.

[His eyebrows twitch up.] Huh. That's generous.

Not a bomb or something, right?

1/2

[majorcrotchgrab]

I can be.

[Not in much nowdays though. Not that he's about to tell Blake that.]

[majorcrotchgrab]

... Why the hell would I send you a bomb?

[lieutenantantichrist]

I doubt I'd wanna see a demonstration. [Blake doesn't trust this guy as far as he can throw him.

He crosses his arms and eyes him.]

When people send shit to cops, it's not often something nice. Besides, you're the kind of guy who likes making trouble.

[majorcrotchgrab]

[Raikov just smirks at the first comment.]

Trouble? Only the sexy kind. I mean, I could send you an autographed picture of myself, if you'd like. Complete with a lipstick kiss mark.