[That is actually a very good idea, because people really need to not ask for The Gospel According to Alfred; this doesn't stop them from doing so on an almost regular basis, granted, but at least this has less of a chance of dissolving into a total shitshow.]

The basic gist of it is that you just need to buy something nice for the people you can both tolerate and bring yourself to spend money on, and give it to them on that day if you don't feel like looking like a socially inept idiot. There's a lot of lore behind it, supposedly, but that's more or less it.